Sunday, 27 November 2016
How to turn wood chips into a great compost heap
My allotment site made a deal with our local tree surgeon to take his brush and wood chippings. Very soon we were swimming in them – so many unloved leylandii and cherry laurels now steaming in our dropoff area. It turns out there are only so many wood chipping paths you can make. We needed a solution.
Jean Pain was an inventor, gardener and forester who lived in the south of France in the 70s. He, too, had a lot of brush and wood in his life. Pain’s solution was to heat his house, not by burning the wood, but by composting it. As well as fertiliser, his simple and effective use of bio-energy provided both hot water and methane gas to cook with and fuel a generator. He even ran his truck on the gas.
How did this work? Pain took all that brush, chopped it up very fine (he created several prototype chippers over the years), built piles of them, in which he buried pipes and tanks of water. As the brush rotted down, he recovered the energy using a heat exchanger, supplying him with 60C water all year round. He also trapped the methane produced during fermentation. It’s a genius system, garnering much attention today. It’s a little laborious to build the piles, but wood chippings are cheap – often free, even.
I did flirt with the idea of trying to persuade my fellow allotment holders we should have hot showers, but in the end we went with the simplest version of Pain’s method, to create compost quickly. This autumn we cracked open one of these piles and inside was dark, rich compost, completely broken down and wriggling with worms. Beautiful stuff that everyone oohed and aahed at.
The piles are simple to make and there are numerous YouTube tutorials. They need to be a minimum of 1.2 metres high and two metres wide. The bigger the pile, the faster it breaks down. All the material must be chipped and all the chippings need to be saturated with water to break down quickly. If you’re on an allotment, that means lots and lots of watering cans.
It is easiest to build the piles in layers, watering as you go, tamping down and building the next layer. You quickly learn to make a moat around the base so you can recycle the excess water. Once you get to the top of your pile, cover it with leaves (preferably wet) and boughs and branches to hold everything in place. Then drape over a tarp to keep in the moisture.
After two months you are supposed to have rough mulch. Four months later, it’s more like leaf mould; five months and it’s near enough to humus. Ours took a lot longer. I think this was because we needed bigger piles and more water at the beginning. But there is no doubt that it has broken down into finer, richer stuff than the chippings that have been left to rot down naturally.
Friday, 25 November 2016
Monday, 21 November 2016
Epic
The extreme life of a tree surgeon: Chainsaw-wielding arborist creates terrifying montage to show what life is really like working among the branches
Tuesday, 15 November 2016
Tree Jokes and Riddles
What did the tree do when the bank closed?
It started its own branch.
Why did the pine tree get in trouble? Because it was being knotty.
What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party? Swimming trunks!
A crime was committed in the forest, and the police are stumped. Who did it? Yew know who.
Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn? In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree? A sour puss.
A snare drum and a crash symbol fell out of a tree. *BA-DUM TSSSHH*
What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister? Leaf me alone, birch!
Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it? It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes!
What type of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
How do you properly identify a dogwood tree? By the bark!
What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you!
Where do saplings go to learn? Elementree school.
Why do trees make great thieves? Sticky fingers.
Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school? She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
Which side of a tree has the most leaves? The outside.
How do bees travel to trees? They take the buzz.
What is green, has leaves, and a trunk? A houseplant going on vacation.
Where can Adansonia trees go for a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What must trees drink responsibly? Root beer.
What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why can’t Christmas trees sew? They always drop their needles.
Can you help me identify this weeping tree? Yes, but you willow me one.
Did you know that before you became my best friend, I used to hang out with another girl every single day in her super awesome tree house? It’s true, but unfortunately we had a falling-out.
What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken? Poultree.
Why are leaves always involved in risky business? Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves? Fell out of the tree.
Why do Platanus occidentalis have to see the doctor more than any other trees? Because they are sycamore.
Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees? They maple their brand off the shelves.
How do crazy people travel through the forest? They take the psycho path.
Why is the tulip the state tree of Indiana, Kentucky, and Tennessee? Because they are so poplar.
How do you get down from a tree? You don’t. Down comes from a duck.
Why do dogwood trees make wonderful pets? They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
What is a triangle palm’s favorite school subject? Treegonometree.
What looks like half a spruce tree? The other half.
Why do trees hate tests? Because they get stumped by the questions.
What did the rock say when it rolled into the tree? Nothing. Rocks don’t talk!
How hard is it to count conifers? It’s as easy as one, two, tree!
What did the tree say to the drill? You bore me.
Did you hear about the elephant that got stuck up a tree last summer? In order to get down, she had to sit on a branch and wait until fall.
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine? It wooden go.
What’s the same size and shape as a giant sequoia tree, yet weighs nothing? A giant sequoia tree’s shadow.
How do trees keep you in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
One. After that, it’s not empty anymore.
What weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?
They both weigh the same.
Why did the pine tree get in trouble? Because it was being knotty.
What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party? Swimming trunks!
A crime was committed in the forest, and the police are stumped. Who did it? Yew know who.
Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn? In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree? A sour puss.
A snare drum and a crash symbol fell out of a tree. *BA-DUM TSSSHH*
What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister? Leaf me alone, birch!
Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it? It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes!
What type of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
How do you properly identify a dogwood tree? By the bark!
What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you!
Where do saplings go to learn? Elementree school.
Why do trees make great thieves? Sticky fingers.
Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school? She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
Which side of a tree has the most leaves? The outside.
How do bees travel to trees? They take the buzz.
What is green, has leaves, and a trunk? A houseplant going on vacation.
Where can Adansonia trees go for a quick trim? To the baobarber.
More Tree Jokes:
What is every single tree’s least favorite month? SepTIMMMBERRR!What must trees drink responsibly? Root beer.
What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why can’t Christmas trees sew? They always drop their needles.
Can you help me identify this weeping tree? Yes, but you willow me one.
Did you know that before you became my best friend, I used to hang out with another girl every single day in her super awesome tree house? It’s true, but unfortunately we had a falling-out.
What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken? Poultree.
Why are leaves always involved in risky business? Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves? Fell out of the tree.
Why do Platanus occidentalis have to see the doctor more than any other trees? Because they are sycamore.
Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees? They maple their brand off the shelves.
How do crazy people travel through the forest? They take the psycho path.
Why is the tulip the state tree of Indiana, Kentucky, and Tennessee? Because they are so poplar.
How do you get down from a tree? You don’t. Down comes from a duck.
Why do dogwood trees make wonderful pets? They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
What is a triangle palm’s favorite school subject? Treegonometree.
What looks like half a spruce tree? The other half.
Why do trees hate tests? Because they get stumped by the questions.
What did the rock say when it rolled into the tree? Nothing. Rocks don’t talk!
How hard is it to count conifers? It’s as easy as one, two, tree!
Even More Tree Jokes:
What do you give to a sick citrus tree? Lemon aid.What did the tree say to the drill? You bore me.
Did you hear about the elephant that got stuck up a tree last summer? In order to get down, she had to sit on a branch and wait until fall.
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine? It wooden go.
What’s the same size and shape as a giant sequoia tree, yet weighs nothing? A giant sequoia tree’s shadow.
How do trees keep you in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
Tree Riddles:
How many trees can you plant in an empty forest?One. After that, it’s not empty anymore.
What weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?
They both weigh the same.
How to Make a tree fall over (felling)
Basic Technique of How to Fell a Tree
Minimum personal protective equipment recommended:
- Safety helmet (which should incorporate face guard and ear defenders)
- Gloves
- Chainsaw protective trousers/leggings (to provide cut protection in case of contact with legs)
- Chainsaw protective boots (with steel toe caps)
All This Stuff
The chainsaw:
- This should have all the necessary safety guards such as a fully functional chain break which will stop the chain if kick back occurs
- A chain catcher which stops the chain from hitting you if it snaps
- The saw should also be sharp as a blunt chainsaw will not cut properly and could end up becoming trapped.
One of these
Assess the site of the tree you want to remove
For any tree it is important to ensure there is enough space for the tree to fall into to avoid hitting anything. By estimating the height of the tree you can then pace this out on the ground before starting. If you are satisfied that there is enough room then you can move onto the next step. Before beginning any cutting you should make sure you have adequate escape routes from the base of the tree. These are at a 45 degree angle from where the felling cut takes place.Assess the tree itself
It is crucial that you look at the tree and make sure that it is not leaning heavily in one direction, or overloaded with branches one side, as this will make the tree fall one way no matter how you cut the trunk. Make sure there are no dead or broken branches, or branches that have fallen off but are being held up by other branches. Trying to fell a tree in that condition will most likely result in a branch falling on you.Making the Cuts
The first two cuts take a notch out of the tree facing the direction you want it to fall (make the downward facing cut first). The first two cuts should be about a fifth of the way into the tree. Once you have a notch, line up the third cut just above the middle of the notch, as in the diagram. If it is a large tree that you are cutting down, you might want to use a wedge to hold open the third cut. As soon as the saw is far enough in, hammer in a wedge to stop the tree from leaning back and trapping your saw. It can also help to attach a length of rope high up on the stem of the tree and have someone to pull the line once you have completed the cuts to aid in the direction of fall (make sure the person pulling is at least one and half times the length of the tree away to avoid being hit!) As soon as the tree starts leaning, pull out the saw, put the chain brake on and walk down one of your escape routes. Make sure to keep your eyes on the tree while moving away from it, just in case it falls in the wrong direction. It is always best to have someone looking out for you when felling a tree, as they might spot danger quicker than you and get you out of harm’s way.All trees react differently when being cut. For example some are more brittle than others and there could be also unseen rot in the base of the stem which when cut into could lead to the tree falling in any direction regardless of the correct methods employed. Please remember that it is a potentially fatal operation if carried out incorrectly.
Making a tree fall over (felling)
Basic Technique of How to Fell a Tree
Minimum personal protective equipment recommended:
- Safety helmet (which should incorporate face guard and ear defenders)
- Gloves
- Chainsaw protective trousers/leggings (to provide cut protection in case of contact with legs)
- Chainsaw protective boots (with steel toe caps)
All This Stuff
The chainsaw:
- This should have all the necessary safety guards such as a fully functional chain break which will stop the chain if kick back occurs
- A chain catcher which stops the chain from hitting you if it snaps
- The saw should also be sharp as a blunt chainsaw will not cut properly and could end up becoming trapped.
One of these
Assess the site of the tree you want to remove
For any tree it is important to ensure there is enough space for the tree to fall into to avoid hitting anything. By estimating the height of the tree you can then pace this out on the ground before starting. If you are satisfied that there is enough room then you can move onto the next step. Before beginning any cutting you should make sure you have adequate escape routes from the base of the tree. These are at a 45 degree angle from where the felling cut takes place.Assess the tree itself
It is crucial that you look at the tree and make sure that it is not leaning heavily in one direction, or overloaded with branches one side, as this will make the tree fall one way no matter how you cut the trunk. Make sure there are no dead or broken branches, or branches that have fallen off but are being held up by other branches. Trying to fell a tree in that condition will most likely result in a branch falling on you.Making the Cuts
The first two cuts take a notch out of the tree facing the direction you want it to fall (make the downward facing cut first). The first two cuts should be about a fifth of the way into the tree. Once you have a notch, line up the third cut just above the middle of the notch, as in the diagram. If it is a large tree that you are cutting down, you might want to use a wedge to hold open the third cut. As soon as the saw is far enough in, hammer in a wedge to stop the tree from leaning back and trapping your saw. It can also help to attach a length of rope high up on the stem of the tree and have someone to pull the line once you have completed the cuts to aid in the direction of fall (make sure the person pulling is at least one and half times the length of the tree away to avoid being hit!) As soon as the tree starts leaning, pull out the saw, put the chain brake on and walk down one of your escape routes. Make sure to keep your eyes on the tree while moving away from it, just in case it falls in the wrong direction. It is always best to have someone looking out for you when felling a tree, as they might spot danger quicker than you and get you out of harm’s way.All trees react differently when being cut. For example some are more brittle than others and there could be also unseen rot in the base of the stem which when cut into could lead to the tree falling in any direction regardless of the correct methods employed. Please remember that it is a potentially fatal operation if carried out incorrectly.
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